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The movie begins with the aging Brushy Bill Roberts narrating his story to a young historian. His claim? He claims that he is the famous outlaw William H. Bonney, alias Billy the Kid, who was supposedly shot and killed by Patrick Floyd Garrett in 1881. The old man gives a very convincing story on how he and Garrett, along with Arkansas Dave Rudabaugh, Chavez y Chavez, Doc Skurlock, and a few others led the outlaw life and avoided the law, as they were wanted men. Garrett, a friend of Billy’s, was paid by John Chisum, a cattle king, to eliminate Billy the Kid. So, Garrett and Ashmun Upson set out on a journey to find Billy the Kid.

1878 in New Mexico: John Tunstall picks up young gun men from the road to have them work on his ranch, but also to teach them reading and to civilize them. However he’s a thorn in the side of the rich rancher Murphy, as he’s a competitor in selling cattle. One day he’s shot by Murphy’s men. Judge Wilson can’t do anything, since Sheriff Brady is one of Murphy’s men. But attorney Alex persuades him to constitute Tunstall’s young friends to Deputies and give them warrants of arrest for the murderers. Instead of arresting them, William Bonney just shoots them down. Soon the 5 guys become famous and William gets the name “Billie the Kid” - but they’re also chased by dozens of Murphy’s men and the army. The people however honor him as fighter for justice.

Melvin Smiley, a successful young hitman, is living a normal all-day life for his jewish fiancé Pam, but kills for money in Paris’ organization. In addition, he has a relationship with a beauty from the neighbourhood and gets bothered by a pimply video store guy, because he did not return “King Kong Lives” for two weeks. He and his three teammates Cisco, Crunch and Vince one day decide to kidnap the daughter of super-rich businessman Jiro Nishi - off the record. What they do not know, is that Jiro just went completely bankrupt due to a successless movie production, and, even worse, that his daughter Keiko is the god-daughter of Paris, the boss of the kidnappers. He and his men are now searching for the kidnappers in order to grind them up properly. Meanwhile, handcuffed Keiko falls in love with killer Melvin while both preparing a kosher meal in order to satisfy Pam’s visiting parents, who are out of the house with Pam - with a body in the trunk.

When not solving murders in Tinseltown, Detective Joe Gavilan and his rookie partner Kasey Calden both moonlight in other fields: Gavilan sells real estate (poorly), and Calden aspires to become an actor (Brando, namely). Assigned to the vicious in-club slaying of a promising young rap act, the two detective delve into the recording industry where they hope to find answers - ideally ones that also come with property buyers or auditions.

Ben (Seann William Scott) has some major debts and intends to rob a bank, under cover of the big rave party he is going to host. The whole point is that the club is located next to the bank where the valuable statue adorns the hall. The rave show will last for seven hours, it should be enough to disguise all attempts break the wall, penetrate into the bank and to still the statue. But there are more obstacles on their way then a simple wall: they should struggle with a cranky club owner, Chinese mafia, Irish thugs, crazed transvestites and a horny teen girl.